Here we go again

Everyone is squawking about the economy these days, and how it's weaker than a whiskey-fed kitten. Well, as someone who lived through the first Great Depression, I can tell you that I'm not too eager to go through those shenanigans again. I was already in the corp when the crapola hit the fan, so I still got my 3 squares a day, but it was no picnic, I'll tell you that much.

People were constantly asking to borrow my horse for this and that - but I suspected they mainly wanted to eat her. Had to keep her in the house for the duration. Plus, Mildred had to take in laundry. That woman toiled until her back ached.

So what's going to happen? How the heck do I know? I'm just an old army yokel who keeps all his money under his mattress. But I'll tell you this - stay the heck away from my horse, or you're liable to get a load of buckshot in the caboose.

What is the name of Sam Hill happened?

Jumpin' Jack Armstrong, what the heck is going on around here? I lay down for a little siesta back in July, and after I pull a Rip van Winkle for several month, I wake up to find that we have a new President. And he's colored, to boot! Thought I'd never see the day.

I like this young fella, I'll tell you that. Seems like he has a lot of horse sense. If I'd had been awake in November, I would have voted for him, that's for sure.

I've been on the mend

It's been a real hum-dinger of spring, I'll tell you that much. I spent most of it bedeviled by a hornet's nest of ailments I wouldn't wish on my own worst enemy. Seems like my feet, back and heart were all in cahoots with one another and gave old Sherm' the bums rush.

Well, after some extended convalescence, I'm feeling much more spry. Heck, I may even take the horse out for a trot later today. Or maybe I'll help Mildred with some gardening. Speaking of the missus, that woman is rock. She should get some sort of medal for how she's wet-nursed me through the years. I'll be forever grateful to the man upstairs that I met her at that USO shindig back in the 20's.

Painting tips

Aside from galloping around on a horse or knocking back some quality hooch, nothing relaxes me like painting. I've been putting the brush to canvas for about 70 years now, and I still manage to learn something new every time, as fruity as that sounds.

I always had a knack for doodlin', as far back as I can remember. Later, when I was serving overseas in the first World War, I saw some famous paintings in some frog museum. The subject matter of most of the stuff there was a little out of left field for my meat-and-potato tastes, but I sure liked the bright colors. After that I was hooked, and bought some paints as soon as I got stateside.

I guess I'm what you would call a realist painter. Mostly figurative stuff, like people I know, or horses. I never cottoned to that cubism or impressionism malarkey, or anything with an "ism" at the end for that matter. Call me old fashioned, but I like someone to look at my paintings and know exactly what it is they're looking at. What point is there to painting a picture if someone has to stand there scratching their heads and craning their necks sideways tryin' to figure out what the blazes it is? Nowadays people will plunk down more than the cost of house to buy something that looks like my cross-eyed nephew spilled his egg cream on it! Hard to figure.

Anyway, here's some shots of some of my work. These are pretty old, back from my time in Korea, but they'll give you an idea of where I'm coming from.

This was our company clerk. He used to wear dresses. So I thought it would be a neat to paint him in a manly pose, like an old Greek athlete. Ironic, I guess you'd call it. Boy, that kid sure had a schnoz on him.



This is one of the whole gang I painted for Mildred as an
anniversary present. It still hangs in my dining room.



Our chief surgeon. He was quite a card. This is what some guy wearing a beret would call "forced perspective."


Here's one of my thumb. About as conceptual as an old buzzard like me will ever get. It probably won't get added to the Museum of Modern Art anytime soon, but I like it.

The taxman is taking a bite outta my hide

Mildred and I paid a visit to our accountant / horse doctor this past weekend in order to get our 2007 taxes squared away. I know Uncle Sam is owed his due, and that he needs tax money to fix the roads and build tanks and barracks and such, but I just wish he didn't feel the need to vacuum out my piggy bank every year. If this keeps up, me and the missus may have to hightail it to Florida. For pete's sake, I spent most of my life serving my country, so you'd think I could get a pass. But no, I've got to pay the piper just like everyone else.

Give an old timer a break, will ya?

I've been getting a saddle full of emails lately, all jumping up my skirt for not blogging enough. Jumpin' Jimmney Crickets, what do you people want? Do you know how hard it is just for me to make a successful trip to the latrine at my age? I'm lucky to be breathing, and you yokels expect me to be banging away at the computer day and night. Well, to blazes with you all! Ol' Sherm didn't almost get his keister shot off in 4 different wars just to be a monkey who dances to whatever tune you play. No sir-ree! I'll blog when the spirit moves me, or when my arthritis decides to decides to take a siesta. Whichever comes first.

Who am I voting for?

None of your beeswax, that's who. Listen - when a fella steps into a voting booth and draws the curtain, which lever he pulls is something he should only share with his wife, or maybe his clergyman. Nowadays everyone's squawking about "I'm voting for this guy because of blah blah blah..." My advice? Can it, and pronto. Ol' Sherm doesn't need to hear your life story. I've read the book, seen the movie - nincompoops like you are a dime a dozen.

Plus, the bozos that pass for candidates nowadays aren't worth squat. Hoover! Eisenhower! Roosevelt! Now those were candidates worthy of a vote!

Now that Ive blown off a little steam, I guess what I'm really sayin' is that I hope you fulfill your constitutional and patriotic duty and vote this year. It'd be a real shame if you didn't.